How are you? On the evening of 14 August, Saturday, Dad, Mum, Joy and I were having a barbecue at our condominium's barbecue pit. Dad started the fire at the pit while Mum skewered the chicken.
As Dad was fanning the flame, his apron caught fire. All of us rushed to get water from the swimming pool and splashed it onto Dad's apron to douse the fire.
Fortunately, Dad was unhurt, aside from the big hole that was formed on his apron. We managed to enjoy ourselves at the barbecue after ensuring everyone's safety.
Do write back as we have all missed you.
1) Mistake: Dear brother
Correct: Dear Brother
The word "Brother" has to start with a capital letter.
2) Mistake: Dad, mum, sister and I were at the barbecue.
Correct: Dad, Mum, Sister and I were at the barbecue.
The words Mum and Sister have to start with capital letters as they are names you use to address your family members.
3) Mistake: My father, my mother and my sister were also at the barbecue:
Correct: Father, Mother and Sister were also at the barbecue.
You should not use terms such as "my father" or "my mother" here as you are writing to your brother and you usually do not refer to your parents as such to your sibling.
4) Mistake: Having only one long paragraph
Correct: Use paragraphs to present your ideas. There should be at least 2 paragraphs.